A game of Pool.

Let the countdown begin! I have little under a month till I return to Texas. On a daily basis my cravings for queso, Whataburger, Texas sunsets, BBQ, tex-mex, Texas country, two stepping, pickup trucks, Blue bell ice cream, and football season (just to name a few) go up. Guy Clark said it best in his song Baton Rouge "Life is like a cul-de-sac, I'm a Texas boy and I'm going back". Now I don't want it to seem that I hate Edinburgh or Scotland. Every time I'm on the bus, or the train, I'm still amazed by how beautiful it is here. The fact that if I look up, doesn't matter where I am in Edinburgh, I can see this big castle.... Like when I look up when I'm at home I see the sun and this time of year in Texas you hate the sun with a passion. I was also lucky enough to experience my first Ceilidh. Which was pretty awesome. Which is like country line dancing. It was a rather enjoyable evening after I learned the right steps of course.

 I've come to realize that I will miss this place more than I thought I would. I will miss the fact that I can take a bus or go for a walk to another part of Edinburgh and it feel like I'm in a totally different city. I will miss all the green of the trees and bushes. I will miss going to a pub and there not be any loud music and the random dude in the corner with his dog just chilling while his owner finishes his drink. I will miss the my co-workers and mangers (Shout out to Paul) and all the other lovely people I have met through Bethany Christian Trust, who have all have had a huge positive impact on my year here in Edinburgh.


One thing I will miss the most, that I've recently realized, is playing pool. Every night at the House the pool room is open and sometimes I'm able to go down their with the residents and play a couple of games with them. I have had to really pick up my game since arriving here in Edinburgh. I thought I was decent until I started playing at the house against the residents and lets say it was a very fast humbling experience. These games of pool have become more than just a game for me. They have become a place of escape. These games can vary in the setting. When there are a lot of people in the room it is a time for everyone to talk and to crack a couple jokes while they wait for their turn on the table. Some times their are only a couple of people down their. This can lead to a little more serious talks or just the usual bantering with each other and offering each other tips. Then sometimes their is only one person who wants to play. These moments can be a sacred time. Sometimes the resident and I just play in silence has we try to either focus on what is happening in the game or just being lost in our own thoughts. Other times the resident will share with me stories of their past and allow me to share in their pain or in their joy. The conversations can vary from faith to past experiences to something that is going on in the present. Over a game of pool is just one of the places where I have seen and felt God's presence this year. Over a game of pool I can be offered a small window to see into the lives of the people I'm serving this year, of lives that are totally different than my own.  Over a game of pool my faith has been tested. Over a game of pool I have laughed. Over a game of Pool I have almost shed a tear. Over a game of pool I have found an escape from my own pain and worries. Over a game of pool I have found peace.

Alasdair and I at the Ceilidh. He is wearing a more traditional outfit than myself.

Here is one of my favorite songs of all time. It is called Stuff that Works By Guy Clark
Who sadly passed away earlier this year. He was known for being a story teller by the lyrics in his songs.

Lent Journey 3

 So I'm really late in writing this but I have been pretty busy and wanted to take some time to reflect a little.  Things in Edinburgh are going good. Last weekend I spent with some friends in Stratford upon Avon for Shakespeare 400th anniversary of his birth. We were lucky to have a good amount of sunshine for our visit. It is truly a beautiful city with a canal that runs right through the middle of town. Besides that I have been working a good amount. Things at the house are going smooth and I'm excited to continue working their.

Now as many of you know I have been talking a little bit about my Lenten Journey. I openly shared with this blog what my goals were for Lent (read the bible more, open up more/be more honest/not watch porn). I will start by saying thank you for all the support and prays that I received everything from Facebook messages to emails to face to face interaction to . I was inspired and strengthened by your prayers and I thank you.

I leaned a lot about myself. I have learned more about the person that I was meant to be. I learned about the type of man/husband/father/friend/brother that I want to be. My discernment, about what I want to do in this life, has gotten clearer. The most important thing that I have learned is how to be more honest and open with myself. I have looked deeper at myself about issues such as being more open or about wanting to stop watching porn. Realizing that in order to become that person (the person God created me to be) I would need to make changes.

The hardest part was to be more honest and open with myself. It was so easy to lie to myself or to distort things in my head to make them seem like something different than what it really was. And I would do it without even knowing that I was doing it. I had to face ugly parts of reality and discover how I was making myself weaker rather than building myself up. It was actually a relief when I took a step back and realized this, because I knew that I had a God that wouldn't leave me. That I have a God who watches both my coming and going. A God who know's my heart more than anyone.

I don't want to come off across as if I have discovered everything about myself or about anything or  that I have changed into this completely other person. In fact, I would say that I have started a path that is making me more me. It is a journey that will last a lifetime and I will never understand a lot of things but in Proverbs 3:5-6 we are called to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct you paths."

Again, I was encouraged by all the support I received. Community is, I believe, a core part of Christianity. We have to rely on our brothers and sisters for support when we face struggles. I did with this. I'm not saying that you should broadcast, like I have done here. But, talk with those you trust.

I leave you know with a song. This is from one of my favorite bands Shane Smith and the Saints
It is called Feather Wind. When I listen to this song I'm suddenly back at home in Texas.  I would encourage you to check out the rest of their stuff.

Lent Journey part 2

Time as flown by here in Edinburgh. Things at the house have been busy. Lots of people moving in and moving out. Rooms being painted and furniture put together. So far Lent has been going good. I do miss the my churches lent services on Wednesdays but other than that it feels like Lent has be flying by. Really this whole year has been flying by. I'm more than half-way through with my YAGM year and it feels like I just arrived yesterday.  Things in Edinburgh are going good. Days are starting to get longer. Last Sunday was probably one of the most beautiful/warmest days here that I can remember. Even though I still had to wear a long sleeve shirt and a jacket it was nice to feel the warm from the sun again while I went for a walk that lasted a couple of hours.

Now I wanted to talk more about some of my goals. I decided to work on my communication because I know that that is a weakness for me. I've always have had trouble sharing my feelings with other especially with those close to me. For some reason it is hard for me to find words sometimes so sometimes it is just easier for me to just say that things are alright. Other times I don't feel like I should burden others. One thing that I have discovered or realized is that when I feel pressured or put on the spot to talk about what I'm feeling.... I won't. Or will be vague. There are several different reasons this is. Sometimes I'm tired and don't feel like talking about something that is just going to upset me again. Sometimes I feel like it will lead to no where and I would rather just move one. Or like I said earlier I just can't find the words to say or don't know how to say them because of my pride. Pride does get in my way. Pride in not showing weakness, always trying to be strong. Unfortunately I sometimes don't know how to turn off my pride to allow others in. I want to and in some ways I have. I've just been selective about it and at times maybe a bit too selective. And to be completely honest I don't necessarily believe it is a bad thing. Can it get in the way. Well yea, and it has. So I guess in short, that got me even wanting to confront this aspect in my life, is to help me become the man God made me to be. I think in order to do that I have to be vulnerable but with others and with God.

My other goal, which I know made people feel uncomfortable, of not watching porn. was in part of me being vulnerable with whoever reads my posts. I know their are some people out there who wondered why I would want to talk about such a private thing out in the open. At first I didn't want to, but after several days of praying and thinking I decided share my goal for a couple of different reasons.
1) I think that the church overall is shying away from this subject (well a lot of other subjects as well). I know that it is very uncomfortable subject, But that doesn't mean we should ignore it.

2) I was tired of hiding it or pretending like it wasn't there. By admitting it I have felt more free or less like I have something to be shameful of.

I encourage anyone to look up statistics on porn and see how much of an effect it has on people. To share one statistic. 90% of Christians believe that the church does NOT adequately support people with porn.

I ask for prayers for the rest of my year here in Edinburgh, also for the 72 other YAGM's throughout the world. I also ask for prayers with my lent goals. Prayers for the residents who are in the Hostel right now, that they can get back on their feet.

If you have any questions or just want to talk about anything just shoot me an email.

Thank you and God Bless

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

My Lent Journey

I know I'm a couple days late on this. Lent Started on Wednesday and I wanted to post this blog then but it didn't get done till now... This going to be a long post but I'm sharing things that are really close to my heart.

So here it is. For those who don't know Lent is probably the second biggest season in the church (2nd to Christmas of course). Lent is the 40 days leading up to Easter. Usually people are encouraged to give up something for Lent. For example one year I gave up drinking cokes (which was one of the best decisions I made actually). Anyways, when you give something up for Lent, or in some cases take something up, like praying more, it is supposed to bring you closer to God. The idea is that for 40 days you you give up something that distracts you from God or do something new to get more connected with God. This last part has been lost to a lot of people who use lent as a "shorter new years resolution". Like with me and drinking coke. I was in 8th grade and I didn't want to give up cokes for a whole year which I still don't really drink cokes, so good can come out of this but it didn't bring many any close to God.

That brings us to this post. This year I have decided to share my "Lent Goals" with all of you whoever you are. I've been inspired to do this partly because of a book I just got done called The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg I highly recommend this book. In part of the book John talks about being open about our sin and how we become more of the person God made us for if we are more open about our sins/troubles with others. Another reason I decided to do this was because one of my "Lent Goals" is to be more vulnerable and open to others and I figured this would be a good way to do it because some of these goals, like the one I just mentioned, are going to be difficult for me and they are not easy and comfortable to talk about. So here they are.

1. Read the bible everyday- This is probably a more common one. But one that I think is very important. I think as a Christian I should at least spend some time everyday reading the bible. Whether that is reading 5 chapters of Romans or reading my favorite Psalm. Some days I can read 5 or more chapters of whatever part of the bible I'm reading at time (which right now is Romans) and then some days I'm either so tired from work or its just one of those days where I don't want to do anything productive and I can't even read a verse. Part of the reason I wanted to do this year of service was to get more into the bible and the past month or so I haven't been and I wan't to get back on track. Whether it's 5 chapters or just a verse. 
2. Communicate my emotions better- Just typing this was a big challenge haha. I know that I'm terrible communicating my feelings and emotions with others especially those close to me. I'm gong to be posting a blog all about this in the next couple of days. 
3. No porn- And finally the the unspeakable one. Again I will post a blog about this one later on. 

Now that ya'll know what my goals are I ask for your prayers. Prayers for strength, peace, courage and for perseverance. I chose these three because I think they will all help shape me into the man I want to be or the me that God made me to be. At the end of Lent I will post another blog talking about the things I learned or I kinda like a report of how it all went. 

If you would like to talk more about any of these things please email me and I would love to talk with you and if you would like prayers for your own Lent journey please let me know! Thanks and God Bless! 

Scottish Banter

It's been a while since my last blog post and I'm sorry on keeping you waiting! I have been here in the beautiful city of Edinburgh for around 3 months now! Which is hard to believe, it feels like I have only blinked my eyes and now I'm here. I'm glad to share that I have become familiar with city life. I feel confident on the bus, My walking shoes have been put to very good use, and I been able to get some what comfortable with being in a congested area. In hindsight my transition has been actually pretty smooth, besides the usual mistakes of moving to a new place this included getting on the wrong bus or even better getting on the wrong train, getting lost and not having my smartphone to save me. There are things I do miss of home. Like What-A-burger (especially the honey butter chicken biscuit), Tex-Mex (I could go on about food so to cut to the chase I miss food... not saying food here is bad but its not the same), I miss football, I miss the feeling I get when I'm driving in my truck down a old FM road with the window down blasting my music (Not because I like loud music, but so I could hear it over the wind) with one of those Texas sunsets, that I can't even describe, off to my side. And of course I miss my family (Hi mom!) and friends!

But besides all the things I miss of home I still feel, in a different kind of way, like I'm home here in Edinburgh, specifically at Bethany House. Like I have said in previous posts the staff and residents at the house made me feel welcomed. The biggest way they made me feel at home here is a thing called "Scottish Banter" or in other words giving each other a hard time. Now if you know me well then you know I love to give people a hard time, Not because I don't like people, but actually for the opposite reason because I love them. Now the Scottish have mastered this art and if your not trained in this form of communicating you will get your feelings hurt, you will think that people don't like you or be confused as to why people would talk to each other like that. The beautiful thing about it is everyone as a different way they play the game. Now I like to think I play fairly, can be a little cut-throat at times, but for the most part I play fair and I can hold my own. Which, for the most part I have held my own. I will admit that I have "lost" or a couple of time been lost for words (Usually has something to do with the news of whats going on back in the States, but that's for a different post for a different time). But overall I have held my own. Now for some back at home or others reading this you might find this fact that, partly the reason why I feel at home here is because people make fun of me, is just a little weird. Let me explain the best I can. When i'm on the picked on or (winded up is what they say here) it lets me know that they notice me and in a strange sense that they care. It is the same way that comedians get a way with making jokes that normally people would be disgusted with or think it's inappropriate, and if you think that the comedian doesn't care about what they are making a joke about then you are sadly mistaken. It is also a way for me to check my own ego to know that I'm just a small piece in this world that God has created, But that I am still loved and important!

For those who don't know this is the beautiful
Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit... Your welcome!

Quick update!!

  Well its been about three weeks so far here in Edinburgh and two weeks working at Bethany house. Here is just a quick update on what I've been doing and what I will be doing and how the house functions.

 For those of you who still aren't exactly sure what I will be doing or what Bethany house is i'm now able to give more details cause now I have a clearer picture in my head. Bethany house is one the services a organization called the Bethany Christian Trust provides. They mainly work in Edinburgh but have a couple of different services in other cities in Scotland. Bethany House (I will more than likely refer to it as the House when I talk about it in my writings). Is a hostel for people who suddenly don't have a place to sleep with a roof over their head. (I will talk more about homelessness later). Sometimes residents stay for a couple of weeks or sometimes as long as a year and everything in between. There are two groups of four project workers that rotate two days on two days off 12 hour shifts. Myself and the other two Volunteers who are with me (Simon and Dana) will be working with both groups. Sometimes we will be working one rotation with one group for a week or so or work 9-5 or something like that. Pretty much my schedule will be different each week. My job is to pretty much help out wherever they need help. That includes doing waking people up, help doing lunch or help clean after lunch. holding the office, doing window checks, Cleaning a room after a resident moves out so another person can stay there, and holding devotions. There is a wide variety in each day that I could be doing.

I'll go through a typical day that I have been doing so far. At 845 a.m. we all gather into this really small office. Sometimes I don't see how we can all fit but we do. One of the people who worked nigh shift goes through the list of residents and tells us what happened the night before. We then have a prayer. Then we have time for people to get tea or coffee. I will say now that I have taken a liking to hot tea and milk (Don't worry I still love my Sweet iced tea). We then go downstairs to a much bigger room. If its the first day of that groups rotation we listen to a recording that the other group made telling us what has happened in the last two days at the house. Which I have found out could be a lot. We can have several people move out or move in or other things that kinda happened. Then we go and wake up residents. Then go back downstairs and have a short staff devo and another prayer. Then who ever is on shift lead tells the other people what they are doing that day (Which could and does change all the time depending on other things coming up). Then we break and get to it. In the mornings we go to the flats to make sure that the common area's are clean. We have six flats total which all have around 4 or 5 rooms. They all have a lounge area a small kitchen and bathroom and shower. The residents rotate who is supposed to tidy up each area. Checking the flats can take any where between 20 minutes to an hour depending if you get caught up in conversation with one of the residents. This takes usually one person to do. The others are either cooking lunch or in meetings with a resident or just in the office. then at 12 we have lunch and after lunch one of the staff members helps clean up. Each flat is on a rotation on kitchen help to clean up. After that there is break time which could mean a short nap or a nice walk around the city. Then a staff member holds a devo for residents if the want to come. Then around 3 we have tea break for the residents. Then sometime after that one person will go up and do window checks which is kinda like flat cleaning. We have to go into each room everyday and make sure their window isn't open to wide. Sounds weird I know but its a government rule. This could also lead to talking with residents. Then dinner at 5 and then I go home.

This is a very short summary of a typical day here. I'm sure I'll dive deeper into different aspects of my work here throughout the year. Here are some pictures so far!

My fellow volunteers/roommates Simon who is from Germany and Dana who is from North Dakota and is also in the YAGM program

Fellow YAGM UKers We have Maridith, Libby, Dana, Jessica, and Mycah

The Eagle Has Landed!

This post is over my travels and first couple days in Edinburgh

As I sit here at the airport along with come of my fellow YAGM UKer's. I reflect on the past week at orientation in Chicago. In just one week I met new people who pushed and challenged me. The people, whom asked me these questions that made me look deep into myself, come from a wide variety of backgrounds and cultures all of which are beautiful and unique in there own way. Some of the people I met I could relate to very easy and others I couldn't. Some of the people I met shared interests and hobbies and others liked totally different things. Some of the people were more stoic and reserved like myself others were more energetic and talkative. But one thing we all had in common was the fact that we were about to start writing a new chapter in our lives. For some of us that chapter will be the chapter of our lives that totally could change us. It could be the chapter were we see our selves slowly start to change and mold that could transition into later chapters. The possibilities for what can happen in this chapters of our lives is endless! And that is both exciting and terrifying. And it was one thing in common that made us come together as a family. We shared stories about ourselves (I personally told things that I usually don't tell people whom I just met). We were there to comfort each other when we shared things about ourselves that brought us pain. And we were there to laugh with each other when we shared the funny times in our lives. After a week of these very special times, I found myself having to say some hard Goodbye's to some very special people. A couple of months ago I was interested in this concept of Goodbyes so I wrote down some words about what goodbyes mean to me.

"Goodbye"

"Goodbye's" suck! there is no other way to say, no reason to sugarcoat it. 

"Goodbye's" usually involve tears and stuffy noses and are very difficult to say.

But when saying "Goodbye's" that are difficult and hard that makes it that much more special. When we say "Goodbye" we mutually agree without saying a word to each other. To forget about the bad memories and to cherish the good memories. We decide to not let bad arguments or fights get in the way of how much we can care for each other. When we say "Goodbye" we are allowing the person either be with God or letting them share their gifts with the world. And to share their love with strangers who might really need it. Even though I'm scared to death of the day when I say "Goodbye" to my parents for the last time. I know that it will be my responsibility to to celebrate their life by how I live and instill the values they raised me on in everyday life. When we really look at "Goodbye's" they are actually one of the most selfless acts we can do.

I've been in Edinburgh for a  couple of days now and they only thing I can say that place is beautiful. Every time I leave my flat I'm left in awe and feel like I am in a dream. Today I had the opportunity to accompany some of the staff members from Bethany house (which is were I'll be working) and some of the residents from the house on a BBQ to a local beach. I was humbled by how I was welcomed from the staff and the residents. They asked me questions about where I was from and we joked about how the BBQ's where a whole lot bigger in Texas. Then the rest of the afternoon was spent relaxing by the beach and playing a game of rounders ball (I'm not 100% sure that's how you say it) On the way back I couldn't help but feel a total sense of peace. As I look back again I can see just why community is so important. Today I broke bread with people who came from totally different backgrounds then I do. And yet we came together and we were all able to forget about our worries and frustrations and enjoy one an others company. I have a feeling that will be a common theme for me this year. breaking bread with people and sharing life together as we go through this thing we call life. I know this year will bring many challenges and frustrations but after today I feel just a little bit more comfortable facing whatever comes my way.

One psaml that I know that I will read a lot this year is Psalm 121

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills. From whence my help comes from? 

My help comes from the Lord! Who made the heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved. He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel Shall neither slumber not sleep.

  The Lord is your keeper: The Lord is the shade at your right hand.

The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserver you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul.

The Lord shall preserver you going out and your coming in. From this time forth, and forever more." Psalm 121

Whenever you need help look up and find peace. I know that's easier said than done haha. 

P.S. Sorry I don't have any photos yet. I will have some soon!!