Now as many of you know I have been talking a little bit about my Lenten Journey. I openly shared with this blog what my goals were for Lent (read the bible more, open up more/be more honest/not watch porn). I will start by saying thank you for all the support and prays that I received everything from Facebook messages to emails to face to face interaction to . I was inspired and strengthened by your prayers and I thank you.
I leaned a lot about myself. I have learned more about the person that I was meant to be. I learned about the type of man/husband/father/friend/brother that I want to be. My discernment, about what I want to do in this life, has gotten clearer. The most important thing that I have learned is how to be more honest and open with myself. I have looked deeper at myself about issues such as being more open or about wanting to stop watching porn. Realizing that in order to become that person (the person God created me to be) I would need to make changes.
The hardest part was to be more honest and open with myself. It was so easy to lie to myself or to distort things in my head to make them seem like something different than what it really was. And I would do it without even knowing that I was doing it. I had to face ugly parts of reality and discover how I was making myself weaker rather than building myself up. It was actually a relief when I took a step back and realized this, because I knew that I had a God that wouldn't leave me. That I have a God who watches both my coming and going. A God who know's my heart more than anyone.
I don't want to come off across as if I have discovered everything about myself or about anything or that I have changed into this completely other person. In fact, I would say that I have started a path that is making me more me. It is a journey that will last a lifetime and I will never understand a lot of things but in Proverbs 3:5-6 we are called to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct you paths."
Again, I was encouraged by all the support I received. Community is, I believe, a core part of Christianity. We have to rely on our brothers and sisters for support when we face struggles. I did with this. I'm not saying that you should broadcast, like I have done here. But, talk with those you trust.
I leave you know with a song. This is from one of my favorite bands Shane Smith and the Saints
It is called Feather Wind. When I listen to this song I'm suddenly back at home in Texas. I would encourage you to check out the rest of their stuff.
