Lent Journey part 2

Time as flown by here in Edinburgh. Things at the house have been busy. Lots of people moving in and moving out. Rooms being painted and furniture put together. So far Lent has been going good. I do miss the my churches lent services on Wednesdays but other than that it feels like Lent has be flying by. Really this whole year has been flying by. I'm more than half-way through with my YAGM year and it feels like I just arrived yesterday.  Things in Edinburgh are going good. Days are starting to get longer. Last Sunday was probably one of the most beautiful/warmest days here that I can remember. Even though I still had to wear a long sleeve shirt and a jacket it was nice to feel the warm from the sun again while I went for a walk that lasted a couple of hours.

Now I wanted to talk more about some of my goals. I decided to work on my communication because I know that that is a weakness for me. I've always have had trouble sharing my feelings with other especially with those close to me. For some reason it is hard for me to find words sometimes so sometimes it is just easier for me to just say that things are alright. Other times I don't feel like I should burden others. One thing that I have discovered or realized is that when I feel pressured or put on the spot to talk about what I'm feeling.... I won't. Or will be vague. There are several different reasons this is. Sometimes I'm tired and don't feel like talking about something that is just going to upset me again. Sometimes I feel like it will lead to no where and I would rather just move one. Or like I said earlier I just can't find the words to say or don't know how to say them because of my pride. Pride does get in my way. Pride in not showing weakness, always trying to be strong. Unfortunately I sometimes don't know how to turn off my pride to allow others in. I want to and in some ways I have. I've just been selective about it and at times maybe a bit too selective. And to be completely honest I don't necessarily believe it is a bad thing. Can it get in the way. Well yea, and it has. So I guess in short, that got me even wanting to confront this aspect in my life, is to help me become the man God made me to be. I think in order to do that I have to be vulnerable but with others and with God.

My other goal, which I know made people feel uncomfortable, of not watching porn. was in part of me being vulnerable with whoever reads my posts. I know their are some people out there who wondered why I would want to talk about such a private thing out in the open. At first I didn't want to, but after several days of praying and thinking I decided share my goal for a couple of different reasons.
1) I think that the church overall is shying away from this subject (well a lot of other subjects as well). I know that it is very uncomfortable subject, But that doesn't mean we should ignore it.

2) I was tired of hiding it or pretending like it wasn't there. By admitting it I have felt more free or less like I have something to be shameful of.

I encourage anyone to look up statistics on porn and see how much of an effect it has on people. To share one statistic. 90% of Christians believe that the church does NOT adequately support people with porn.

I ask for prayers for the rest of my year here in Edinburgh, also for the 72 other YAGM's throughout the world. I also ask for prayers with my lent goals. Prayers for the residents who are in the Hostel right now, that they can get back on their feet.

If you have any questions or just want to talk about anything just shoot me an email.

Thank you and God Bless

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39